Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
