Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
