Where did you get a picture of my penis
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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