i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
