If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
