you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
