just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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