im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
