its not stalking. its research.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
