She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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