Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
