oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
