are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
