I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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