Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
