my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Are we still banned from the library?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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