Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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