She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
