If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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