how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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