I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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