I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
