Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
