its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
