ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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