I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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