He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
