Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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