Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
