Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
