I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
