if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
