wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize
