i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
