hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
