He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
