Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
