im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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