I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
