There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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