I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
