Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
