It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You don't make any sense
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