oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
bring money and cleavage
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
