yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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