I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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