He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
