found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
