Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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