Your face is a jimmy john
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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