I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
