White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
