Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I have already put on my inside pants.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
